I recently led my 3-day virtual retreat, High-Profit Online Events, and I felt so grateful to support the amazing group of purpose-driven entrepreneurs attending. I gave my all and poured my heart into this training.
I felt so much love from so many clients in this retreat. And I’m getting lots of positive feedback about the quality experience participants had. Comments like…
“Thank you for delivering such extraordinary content, guidance and inspiration.”
“It was nice to attend an event which didn't feel like a pitch fest and was full of value.”
“I want to send a big thank you for the tremendous value you provided for the past 3 days. It is a real delight to learn from someone with your authenticity and superb expertise.”
These are all I should remember.
But a hater showed up at my virtual retreat for 90 minutes only, then decided to leave me a nasty email saying they couldn’t stay even though the “information was pertinent” because, they claimed, “my heart wasn't in it." That was their assessment of me, even though they missed most of the event.
In my 14 years of business, I have learned to let these comments roll off my back. This person doesn’t know me, nor can they judge where my heart is or isn’t.
This is obviously a projection of theirs. Perhaps they feel their own heart isn’t in their work and seeing me in my heartfelt power triggered their wounding.
My first thought was just to ignore their email. But then I saw this awesome image on my Instagram feed and felt it was so appropriate. So I sent it to them as a reply to their criticism. Just the image, without any text.
I’ve dealt with idiotic comments from trolls on visible social media posts before. They mean nothing. They’re just noise from cowardly people who never come close.
I was surprised by this one, though, from a person who bought a ticket to my event. I have NEVER seen a nasty projection like this, from my audience, in all of my 14 years leading events, both in person and online.
It’s interesting timing because a theme I noticed at my event among my clients was their fear of being highly visible and having to deal with haters. Just like this.
I get it, haters aren't fun. I’m a highly sensitive person so it takes a little more inner work to file these comments where they belong - in the “Other People’s Projections That Don’t Matter to Me” folder.
For every critic you attract, you draw thousands of fans. Show up for your fans – and don’t hold back because of the few critics who might show up.
MOST of the time, they self-select out of your world anyway. This person did self-select out of my event. And we’ll happily select her off our mailing list.
My online marketing usually acts like a very effective filter, bringing in right-fit clients who resonate with me and repelling those who don’t.
Sometimes a weird one slips through and tests our resilience. As leaders, we grow by recognizing truth versus projection.
Especially for women, the more we step into our power and shine in the spotlight, the more we activate others. The vast majority of the time we are serving and inspiring other people, modeling what it looks like to be a feminine leader.
But for some, we activate their insecurities and their reaction is to lash out and try to bring us down. The sad part is, some WOMEN tend to do this to other women in leadership roles.
Just be aware of this as you grow, it could happen. But don’t let it drag you down. Don’t let the hurt of it get the better of you.
Recognize it as a projection - it’s NOT about you! And it’s actually a sign that you are growing even more awesome. When you uplevel yourself is usually when you attract leadership challenges like this.
Remember to focus on the people who DO matter, your clients who stick around because they love you. I know I’m blessed to have so many of those, new and past clients who have chosen to stay in my circle for many years. For them, I continue to serve in the spotlight. I won’t let anyone get in the way of that.